DON’T FORGET TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS Are you ready to laugh aloud? If you are, then I’m sure you are not in a public place because if you are, when you start laughing, people might just look at you ‘somehow’. Don’t mind me, let’s just get to the jokes. Remember, the Bible says that “a ... Continue Reading
DON’T FORGET TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS
Are you ready to laugh aloud? If you are, then I’m sure you are not in a public place because if you are, when you start laughing, people might just look at you ‘somehow’. Don’t mind me, let’s just get to the jokes. Remember, the Bible says that “a merry heart brings health to your bones”. So, laugh jare and forget your sorrows.
Some Nigerian professors were gathered in a plane and set to fly, just before the take-off, they were informed that the airplane was made by some of their students. In a twinkle of an eye, they all unlocked their seat belts and ran out of the plane except for one who sat comfortably. It was obvious that they were scared to die (lol), but when the last remaining professor was asked why he didn’t panic, he replied “if na my student build this plane, e no go even start”. (Disclaimer: This joke does not aim at spiting our educational system but at giving us a reason to see the deploring state of things and why we need to start getting true-education to add value and solve problems in our society and compound the existing problems)
A naked lady ran to an Ibo man’s taxi, and told the Ibo driver hurriedly where she was going. She was startled that he didn’t start the car, he was just staring at her. The lady looked at him with disgust and said, “what’s your problem, haven’t you seen a naked lady before?”, then the Ibo man replied’ “I am not looking at you nakedness, I was just wondering where you kept the money you were going to pay me since you entered my cab with nothing but yourself”. (Disclaimer: This joke does not aim to spite the Ibo person but aims at showing the industrious nature of not just the Ibo man but every Nigerian often misunderstood as the excessive love of money).
Jooo O! Na your boy Obi Mouth. Make una leave talk for market women, no matter how Okada wan new reach e no fit reverse joor. Na so one mad man stand in front of River-Niger dey shout thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen! Na so people gather, dey wonder why the mad man dey shout thirteen! Sooo one badt guy tire to wait, na him e go waka go where the mad man bend down immediately carry the man throw inside the river, him come dey shout fourteen!, Fourteen! Fourteen! Na him everybody begin run cos nobody wan be fifteen! Fifteen! Fifteen! Jooo O!
Rich People Sef
Nawa for all these rich people ooo! Someone once went with a friend to visit her boyfriend from a rich family. The maid approached her and asked:
Maid: What will you like to drink; fruit juice, yoghourt, tea, cappuccino, frapuccino, or coffee?
Visitor: Tea, please.
Maid: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea, Kericho gold tea, Bush tea, or Green tea?
Visitor: Ceylon tea please.
Maid: How do you want it, black or white?
Maid: Milk or fresh cream?
Maid: Goat milk or Cow milk?
Visitor: (haba!) Cow milk na.
Maid: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
Visitor: Ummm…lemme go with Freezeland.
Maid: Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or hone?
Maid: Bee sugar or Cane sugar?
Visitor: Cane sugar.
Maid: White, brown or yellow sugar?
Visitor: Abeg forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water.
Maid: Mineral, tap or distilled water.
Maid: Flavoured or Non-flavoured?
Visitor: (Jisox!) In fact, just get me an empty glass.
Maid: Do you want tumbler, wine glass, a beer mug or champagne flute?
Visitor: Abeg free me, I go swallow my spit.
DON’T FORGET TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS
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