Funny Jokes by Akpos – Laugh Out Loud (LOL)
Akpos At A Job Interview: Another funny Akpos Joke – Akpos and johnny were shortlisted and invited for an interview. The interview was for job employment. Johnny was the first to enter the interviewing office.. (the manager asking johnny questions). Manager: who was the first military head of state in Nigeria???.. Johnny: General Aguyi Ironsi.. ... Continue Reading
Akpos At A Job Interview:
Another funny Akpos Joke – Akpos and johnny were shortlisted and invited for an interview. The interview was for job employment. Johnny was the first to enter the interviewing office.. (the manager asking johnny questions).
Manager: who was the first military head of state in Nigeria???.. Johnny: General Aguyi Ironsi..
Manager: when was the North and southern protectorate in Nigeria Amalgamated???. .
Manager: That is good of you..
Question no 3, is it t rue that the cure for HIV/ aids is discovered???..
Johnny: eehm.. yes but not scientifically proven…
Manager: good way of answering questions,
please can you wait for us outside and we will attend to you later…
(when johnny got outside akpos asked him)..
Akpos : Johnny, what are the questions and please tell me the answers??..
(as johnny was about to tell akpos the questions and answer, the manager shouted from inside `NEXT’..
Akpos then said to Johnny).. Akpos. Ok tell me only the answers..
Johnny: answer to number 1 is: General Aguyi Ironsi, number 2 is=1914, number 3 is=yes but not scientifically proven. (mu-mu Akpos got to d interview, after exchanging greetings, the manager told him to sit down)
Manager: What is your name?
Akpos : General Aguyi Ironsi (manager became confused)
Manager: Please what year where you born?
Manager: (angrily, he shouted at Akpos)!! are u mad?!!!
Akpos: Yes, but not scientifically proven.
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Akpos’ Letter of Apology:
Akpos jokes no dey tire us. So, here is another Akpos joke. Here he’s a University student who shocked his lecturer with the kind of English he didn’t expect.
Akpos is a varsity student. The Lecturer ordered him to write an apology letter showing why he didn’t submit an assignment.
I’m sorry I could not do the homework on time because I was tired after watching television.
The Lecturer warns him to write a formal letter with formal English or reflective of a varsity student lest
he be punished.
This is what Akpos wrote…
Dear knowledge conduit,
My sovereign persona is thoroughly apologetic for my sordid academic behavioural inactivity or academic hibernation as regards the assignment.
Unfortunately, our smart Samsung HDTV was visually competitive in relation to the assignment, prompting me to fall prey to its seduction to the detriment of the assignment.
Ultimately, my exhaustion directed my nocturnally loyal body to my bed thereby rendering me half dead
albeit still breathing in the process.
Akpos and Papa Under Tent:
An illiterate Father with his Educated son, Akpos went on a camping trip. They set up their tent & fell asleep. Some hours later, Father wakes his Son, Akpos up & asks ” Look up to the sky & tell me what you see?”
Akpos: “I see millions of stars.”
Papa Akpos: “What does that tell you?
Akpos: “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of Galaxies & Planets.”
Papa Akpos slaps Akpos hard & says, “You idiot! Pesin don thief our Tent. ROTFL!!!
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Akpos Visits An Electrical Store At Alaba International Market:
Good Evening Everyone, how did your day go? Oya let everybody sit down, no more school talk, let us laugh and enjoy the night. Akpos has come again, he is still very dumb, only God knows why.
This is what happened when he went to Alaba international market to buy something, sit down, relax and enjoy.
Akpos entered an electronic store, he asked the storekeeper “what is the price of this TV?”
The storekeeper answered “we don’t sell our products to Akpos.”
Akpos again came next day by cutting his beard and asked “what is the price of this TV?”
The storekeeper replied “we don’t sell our products to Akpos”.
The next day Akpos came with a different face and asked “what is the price of this TV?”
The shopkeeper replied “we don’t sell our products to Akpos.”
Finally Akpos got irritated and asked the shopkeeper “how do you recognize me every time?”
The storekeeper replied “because this is not a TV it is Microwave Oven! Odeh!!!”
Akpos And Isabella The Latest Couple In Town:
All work and no play makes Akpos a dull boy and all play and no work makes him a dull boy too. We are going to do this by sharing this simple Akpos Joke
Akpos nd Isabella were the latest couple in town. One day, while strolling down the street, they came to a boutique and Isabella saw a beautiful dress.
Isabella : “Akpos, can you please give me about N10,000 to buy this dress, I left my purse at home.”
Akpos brings out his wallet and gives Isabella money, “Take N140 naira for transport. Go back house go bring your purse!
Akpos Using Biblical Toasting On Onome:
I was about leaving the church premises today when i saw my friend akpors toasting a lady at the church gate.
I no be akproko o, but this was their conversation below
Akpors: Do you have a boyfriend?
Onome: Nope. I don’t want to have a boyfriend.
Akpors: Gen. 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Onome: But I don’t love you.
Akpors: 1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Onome: But how can I be sure that you’re loyal and honest?
Akpors: Mark 13:31 “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.”
Onome: But I’m busy, I’m still studying.
Akpors: Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
Onome: But why me? There are lot of girls out there.
Akpors: Proverbs 31:29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
Onome: But what is in me that you like?
Akpors: Song of Solomon 4:7 “You are altogether beautiful, my darling there is no flaw in you.”
Onome: But I’m not beautiful.
Akpors: Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Onome: What do you want to happen?
Akpors: 2 Corinthians 2:4 “For I wrote you out of great distress and anguish of heart and with many tears, not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of my love for you”
Akpors, The Mr. No Nonsense Guy Shows A Lady Pepper:
The following conversation happened between Mr.Akpors and a lady sitting next to him at a table in a hotel;
Akpors: hello madam?
Lady: what is it?
Akpors: sorry madam , just wanted to ask what the time is on your watch?
Lady: ehee …now you think my watch is used as a public clock huh? Go away and stop wasting my time
Akpors: but madam
Lady: shut up!!!
Akpors takes out his Apple iphone and makes a call
Akpors: hello John I just settled from Washington D.C can you please tell me what time it is right now so that I set my clock to the local time since it still reads American time? *she listens*
Ok, thank you and today don’t forget to come for the galaxy tablet that you requested * she listens*
Since my girl is still in America bring me a beautiful girl to spend my money with tonight Ok, bye
Lady: sir the time is ….
Akpors: shut up !!!!!
Akpos vs Police : Where Do You Live?
The following ensued between Akpos and a policeman after he was arrested for whatever offence he has committed. He’s always getting himself into trouble as we all know. Even if we don’t know who did it, we can always guess right it’s Akpos. LoL
POLICE: Where do you live ?
AKPOS : With my parents
POLICE : Where does your parents
AKPOS : With me
POLICE: Where do you all live?…
POLICE : Where is your house?
AKPOS : Next to my neighbors house
POLICE : Where is your neighbour’s
AKPOS: If I tell you, you won’t
POLICE: Tell me
AKPOS: Next to my house. One word for Akpos.
ЂƠ̴͡ω W̶̲̥̅̊A̶̲̥̅s u̶̲̥̅̊я̩̥̊ day??
Hope you enjoyed this Akpos joke, if you did, don’t forget to share it. Have a wonderful night rest and remember there’s work tomorrow. Good night!
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